sateenvartija | Warrior AU PSL with kas & tai

Jean is a normal Warrior, brought with the others to act as a backup in case they needed to feed the coordinate to someone. He was adopted by Mrs. Kirstein after Shiganshina fell, by a stroke of luck and kept in touch with the other Warriors as well as he could while keeping an eye on things in Trost. He's kind of always felt like an outsider since he's not a titan shifter - and because he's the youngest of them all.

He entered the military at the same time as them, at the youngest age he could and partially because he had been losing his mind at home (Mrs. Kirstein was great but too overbearing; but it would be a lie if he said he wasn't affected by her kindness). He's quick to get back to the Warrior mentality thanks to the others' presence.

But then there was Marco, who showed him kidness like no one else and they had a connection, making him waver a bit more again. But the devils of Paradis propaganda is strong even in him so he's still going through with what they've come here for... but secretly hoping he could at least spare Marco.

Most of the time, during the training years, Jean kept his distance from the three titan shifters. Mostly not to draw attention that they knew each other, just in case. Annie did the same, keeping her distance as much as possible from Reiner and Bertholdt. It had been easy to do that when he was accepted by one of the other soldiers-in-training; Marco. He could easily avoid all three of his warrior comrades when he had someone to turn to.

He found himself drawn to Marco. They had ended up hanging out even outside training, even if at first Jean had found that unnecessary and even disgusting. But the more he hung out with Marco, the less bad he felt about it. Marco wasn't a Devil. He was a human, just like him. That couldn't be said about Eren, for example. He was a straight up Devil.

Whenever he was with Marco when it wasn't absolutely necessary and he happened to see a glimpse of one of the other three warriors he felt uneasy. Like he was doing something wrong. Like they were watching him do something wrong. But once that passed all felt better again. And Marco didn't notice anything and kept talking. Jean found he felt soothed by Marco's voice. It was kind. Not many people had been kind to him in life.

Not even his own parents back at Marley who had just forced him into the Warrior program. So they could live peacefully. Jean didn't care for them, but he had been filled with thoughts of revenge on the Devils of Paradis for making his life hell. He still carried those feelings with him and he wanted to do the mission. He was confident they truly were the Devils they've been told about. If not for their deeds, then for making him and many other kids go through brutal training.

The woman who adopted him in Shiganshina was kind, too, but it was in a smothering way. Marco's kindness wasn't like that. It felt like a soothing wave that Jean had stopped resisting at some point.

But within he knew he was still a Warrior who was going to kill most if not all the soldiers here. Not by his own power, but with the help of the titan shifters. He wasn't one, he was just a spare forced along for the ride. He often wondered if he could at least, somehow, spare Marco. He deserved to be spared.

A secret signal had been made. Jean was called to a meeting after dark. It wasn't unusual. They had meetings every now and then and it had been a while since the last one. But there was a sinking feeling in his stomach as he made his way to the meeting spot. Maybe he had imagined the glares earlier in the day and this was about something entirely different.

Bertholdt doesn't say anything about Jean's relationship with Marco. Nor does he question Annie's interest in Armin, or Reiner's "big brother" camaraderie with half the 104th.

It concerns him, of course. He knows such relationships will make things more difficult in the end. But what is there to do? What could he possibly say to convince the others to maintain their distance?

Annie is already doing her best; Bertholdt recognizes that. He, too, is doing his best: staying quiet and keeping his thoughts to himself, trying not to let any ill-fated bonds strengthen. But Reiner basks in the attention, and Jean may as well be glued to Marco's side.

Bertholdt sighs through his nose, unconsciously curling inward where he sits on a stump waiting for the others. Reiner was the one who insisted on this meeting, telling Bertholdt he was concerned about Jean's priorities. Bertholdt held his tongue then, too, not wanting to make Reiner defensive. Maybe he should've said something—but here they are.

He raises a hand in greeting as Jean approaches, trying not to look too worried about how this will go. He only halfway succeeds.

Bertholdt is the one Jean sees first from where he's walking from, but it's not long until Reiner's in his line of view as well. Annie wasn't there this time, which was a worrying sign that this had nothing to do with their plans in general and was, in fact, something else.

Well, Bertholdt looking worried (despite his best efforts not to) was also telling. Poor guy, it wasn't easy being best friends with Reiner the hypocrite. Reiner, who was always so good with others, acting like a big brother to the island devils they were supposed to hate and eventually kill. He didn't really have a right to call Jean out of attaching to one (1) of them.

But somehow it felt still bad for being called out about it. Maybe more so by Reiner, who could get really intense about their mission.

Jean kept in a sigh, so he doesn't start this meeting badly, at least.

"What's up?"

Jean was traveling from roof to roof, trying to find any signs of Reiner, Bertholdt or Annie. Everything was a mess. Their plans were being ruined by Eren fucking Jaeger being a shifter. Now he had blocked the hole Bertholdt had made. Could they do something to remedy this? Jean half-excepted to see the Colossal Titan reappear or the Armored run through the damn rock. After all, why would they need his input?

It almost felt like he was finding a needle from a haystack. Which was ridiculous, considering two of them were very noticeable figures. Annie he could see himself losing in a crowd. This wasn't even a crowd.

He lands on a roof, taking a break and watching the streets for a moment. There was debris all over the place. Fallen gear pieces. Even someone's clothes and someone's arm. Someone Jean might have known. A "comrade" he trained with. Probably not anyone he would be able to name.

Honestly, it was pretty depressing. Most of these people hadn't really done anything, other than they were born on the wrong side of the sea.

Still, a mission was a mission, and he should just find his real comrades to plan their next move.

Edited 2024-01-24 22:17 (UTC)

Marco couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"Yeah, if it comes to it, I'll have to do something with my Titan somehow."

"But if their plan works, it'll plug the hole we finally opened."

"It doesn't matter. We've been searching for a clue these past five years and we finally found it."

It was by the grace of a Titan rumbling around near him that he hadn't spoken up to ask Reiner and Bertholdt what the hell they meant by those things they'd said. My Titan? Plug the hole that they finally opened? He started to gasp, then clasped his hand over his mouth. Slowly, he started backing away from where Reiner and Bertholdt were still talking.

Eren had transformed into a Titan so humans could become Titans. If the Colossal Titan appeared out of nowhere and suddenly vanished, that meant it was probably a human like Eren.

My Titan. The hole we finally opened.

He keeps moving backwards, minding the Titan storming around nearby and the boys still on the other roof. Once he was sure they hadn't heard him, he lowered his hands, firing his hooks to pull himself from one roof to the next.

Bertholdt and Reiner were Titans, too. One of them was the Colossal - Reiner, possibly?

He doesn't immediately jump - he still needs to conserve gas, make sure he has enough to get out of here. He hears the sound of gas and flinches, looking up and afraid that he'll see Reiner or Bertholdt coming after him. But no, it's someone dashing gracefully through the air -

"Jean!"

He calls it out louder than he means to, but the house he's on used to be a shop and it's taller than the ones around it.

The sudden call of his name makes Jean tense a little. He didn't expect to run into anyone - he assumed most of their classmates were sticking together. Yet Marco was there, for some reason.

After contemplating what to do for a while, Jean decides to switch roofs to Marco's to meet up with him. It would have probably been too suspicious if he had ignored Marco there and then, since there's no way he wouldn't have heard his voice.

"What are you doing all the way out here?" Marco could probably ask the same from him, but he'd cross that bridge if he has to.

"I was leading Titans away from Eren," he says, but his eyes dart around a little wildly, his heart thumping so loud in his chest he's surprised Jean doesn't hear it.

"I ... I heard Reiner and Bertholdt talking strangely."

He doesn't think anything of telling Jean about this. Jean is his friend, his best one, and while he's hung out with them just like Marco has, it's always been at Marco's urging. He's never presented himself as particularly close to the other two boys. Marco would consider Eren closer to the two of them than Jean.

He has no idea he's talking to someone who knows why Reiner and Bertholdt were talking strangely.

He continues on, "They said something about Reiner's titan. And a hole that Bertholdt opened. Jean, I think -" He lowers his voice here, practically to a whisper. "I think they might be the special Titans that were outside Trost."

Jean is more alert than before when Marco mentions Reiner and Bertholdt. It's not uncommon to hear about them in the same sentence, but this situation and saying they talked strange makes alarm bells ring inside his head.

And then Marco confirms Jean's fear of what he might have heard. His heart skips a few beats, but then beats faster and louder than he's heard in a long while. Why did Marco have to hear that? Why didn't they look around before talking about these things? Fuck fuck fuck. Now what does he do?

"He could have been talking about their dicks. I think you're overthinking this, after seeing what happened with Eren", he says, as the first excuse in his mind. But he knows Marco. He won't buy that and would probably say this isn't a time for a shitty joke.

They -- He -- would have to deal with Marco, so he doesn't tell anyone else. It was lucky he came to Jean, of all people, to tell about his discovery and he should be thankful, but also why was he put in this position. It's not like he has it in him to just kill Marco or leave him for a titan to eat...

Predictably, Marco frowns when Jean says they could have been talking about their dicks. His eyes narrow, his lips thinning a bit as he looks at Jean. Jean looks nervous, for some reason - maybe he doesn't want to believe what Marco heart.

"It'll be easy enough to prove they aren't Titans," he says then - what is one or two cuts on a healthy, young recruit - and he turns, grabbing the controllers of his gear and getting ready to dart off the roof, probably to head atop the wall and speak to someone in charge about what he heard.

Marco's a diligent boy, after all. He's prone to mischief, as Jean knows, but his heart truly is in what's best for humanity. All he knows now is that if those strange titans are Reiner and Bertholdt, then they're all in danger.

It all happens on instinct. Moments before Marco's about to dart off, Jean tackles him to the ground. What's his plan? Fuck if he knows. For now, he's got to stop Marco from going anywhere, and then he'd figure it out from there. Luckily, there isn't anyone else around. There weren't even any titans around this part, right now -- or maybe that was unlucky, when he could leave Marco to a titan and make it look like an accident--

No. He couldn't do that. Just like he couldn't just slice his throat open or strangle him, no matter how much he'd have to.

"Sorry about this, but I can't let you tell anyone else."

All he can think of is to try and knock him unconscious for now and figure things out from there. Keyword be try, depending on how much Marco resists.

The thing is, Marco isn't expecting it. He's more afraid of seeing Bertholdt and Reiner again - when Jean tackles him, he hits his head on the roof despite curling in instinctively to shelter himself from the fall.

It means he's dazed when Jean gets his arm around his neck, and Marco's slow to get his fingers around Jean's neck, his grip weak with how there's a cut bleeding into his eye now, too.

"Jean - what are you -?!"

He doesn't understand why - but he doesn't have to flounder long. With Jean's warrior training, he's able to restrict Marco's air flow long enough that the taller boy passes out.

Not long after Marco passes out, Annie makes an appearance. Jean is automatically defensive about his choice here, saying he panicked. Luckily, Annie doesn't start reprimanding him and instead takes Marco's gear with her - just in case they have a use for a spare one later.

Jean is very well aware of areas around Trost, so he knows where to go to hide someone for a while. It's a barn that has been abandoned for a while, but there are a lot of tools left there. So he uses some rope to tie Marco to a one of the pillars in the barn (sitting on the ground, at least) - and just in case anyone would be nearby (he doubts anyone would) gives him a gag for while he's away. At least he made sure to clean the wound on his head a little, but he'd do it properly later.

What was he doing was a question he had to ask himself a lot. It was something he had to explain to Reiner and Bertholdt too, but Jean managed to convince them that he would figure things out (he had no idea what he would do, but he's good at pretending he does). It would take a lot of time to clean the streets of the corpses and messes left behind by the titans, so Jean had plenty of time to spare to "deal" with Marco.

So he returns to the barn, with some food, water and first aid supplies. Probably just in time for Marco to start gaining consciousness again.

"If you promise not to start screaming, I'll take the gag off and we can talk", Jean tells him, once he's aware enough.

Marco doesn't know how long it's been. He woke up, once, to try yelling for help and to try and struggle against his bonds. The gag made the first act impossible, and the second, well, he didn't have enough strength or tools nearby to make it happen. If he still had his gear, he could have tried to get a blade out - but he's missing it entirely.

Eventually, he'd passed out again, only woken when someone enters, and it takes him a groggy few seconds to realize it's Jean. The glare Marco shoots Jean says that there's a very real likelihood he will just scream for help, since his first act is to to tug at his bonds again, aggravating the skin around his wrists more.

He says something, muffled through the gag, that sounds a lot like What are you doing.

Jean looks a bit disappointed at the reaction, even sighing, but he can't really blame Marco for it.

"Saving your life", Jean says like it's obvious. He crouches down, placing the supplies he has nearby, and focuses on the wound over Marco's eye. "It was either this or killing you, and I couldn't do the second, so now I'm stuck with a hostage and no idea what to do even if I told them I do."

He's complaining to Marco like he'd be complaining about Eren scoring higher than him in a test. Just casual talk, like this was a normal situation. Even if it's nowhere near normal.

"Who knows, maybe I still do have to kill you or someone else will. Maybe all of this is for nothing."

Marco continues to glare as Jean wipes the wound free of blood, though he flinches at the antiseptic getting applied. When Jean talks about killing him, though, his eyes widen, and then he shakes his head, dislodging Jean's hand.

He seems to be asking - or begging, more likely - a No. Marco definitely does not want to die, even if he has no idea why Jean tackled him or is hiding him here.

Though... tell them... Is Jean working with Reiner and Bertholdt?

At least he got most of the wound cleaned - it wasn't bleeding anymore, so he leaves it for now and sits down.

"You just were in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Then you were unfortunate enough to meet me. I may not be a titan, but I'm still their ally and your enemy." Basically confirming Marco's thoughts. It hurts saying he's Marco's enemy, but it's true. That's what he's supposed to be. Yet here they are.

"But... then I got attached. That wasn't supposed to happen. Now I can't bear the thought of you dying. But I can't let you get them caught, either."

Marco takes this all in with a wide eyed, somewhat confused expression. I may not be a Titan, but I'm still their ally and your enemy. But why were they enemies? Where had they been sent from? For what purpose - for Eren? Couldn't they have taken him at any other time, slipped off into the night none the wiser.

He kicks his feet, a little, making a muffled mmph noise, giving Jean a pleading look. It seems he's changed his tune about the gag, possibly.

Jean hesitates momentarily, but reasons with himself that almost everyone evacuated Trost and still hadn't made their back. He checked the area before returning to the barn. There was no one here. Not even close.

Perhaps the screaming part had been just for Jean to not need to endure hearing him cry for help in his presence.

He reaches behind Marco's head to release the gag. "I have water if you want."

Jean almost doesn't get the statement out, with how Marco's words come spilling out as soon as he's ungagged.

"What do you mean you're our enemy? Why are any of you our enemies? We're the only humans left, why would you need to attack us?"

There's always the possibility that there's people outside the walls - but Marco can't float that just yet. "If you're so strong, if you have the power of Titans, couldn't you just take what you want and leave us alone?"

Of course Marco would have a million questions. Jean sighs, wondering how much he should tell him. If he manages to escape, any information he gave him would go straight to the military. Not that he had any plans on letting Marco escape, but you couldn't predict everything.

"You won't do anything with that information. There's no way I'm letting you go back and tell everyone about us, so you're better off just not knowing anything."

A moment before he adds. "The humanity inside the walls is doomed, so fighting for it is useless anyway."

Jean gives him a little piece of information anyways - humanity inside the walls is doomed. Which might mean there's a humanity outside the walls, which is where Jean came from. He's not going to let Marco get more information, though.

Instead, Marco gives him another pleading look, his eyes wide. "You could help us, though. You - your friends, Reiner and Bertholdt - they have the power of the Titans. With Eren, those two could stop them from coming to attack us, maybe even kill their source...!"

Jean laughs at that, like it's a funny joke.

"Maybe don't fantasize about things you know nothing about. You don't even know what you're fighting against."

Marco flinches like he's been hit, but really - he's never had Jean's indifference turned against him like this. If his caring before was a ploy, he realizes, he played it quite well. It's what makes anger erupt next.

"You're right, we don't know! That's what we've been trying to learn about - and now you come in and tell me there's humanity outside the walls, but they sent you in to hurt us? How does that make any sense?!"

"It doesn't need to make sense to you. All of you are supposed to die before learning the truth", Jean says coolly. "So congratulations, if you do end up dying, you'll be wiser than everyone else on this damn island."

Not that he wanted Marco to die. But he wasn't seeing many options. Jean could always run away with him somewhere far off. Screw his family back home, they were dicks anyway. It's not like he was important enough for the war chief to hunt down. Well, except, he did have all sorts of important information memorized that could prove to be a problem in enemy hands, so maybe he would. And instead of killing him, he'd make sure he'd turn into a mindless titan. So that was likely a no-go, too. Not to mention he'd have to constantly keep Marco on a leash.

"If only you'd been less kind to me..." Jean says, out of nowhere.

Marco does not want to die, although being trapped isn't much better. There has to be an angle he can play at, he thinks, trying to rein in his anger. Jean's comment, though - that has him thinking.

"Are they not kind to you outside?" he asks.

Jean looks at Marco, glaring a little bit.

"Don't try to get inside my head. Even if I'd tell you my story, and you'd sympathize with it, it won't change a damn thing."

It's clearly a sour spot, though. Kindness wasn't something he was used to. Which is why he probably clings to Marco.

Marco sits up a little bit more, clearly annoyed at being called out - then again, in a situation like this, being subtle hardly helps, does it? He bites the inside of his cheek for a moment before he speaks again.

"If you want me to cooperate with you so I don't kick up a fuss, shouldn't you tell me?" Marco finally settles on, picking his words carefully. "If you don't want to kill me - and I don't want to die - but you can't let me go, then you need to make me ... pick you. Over the people inside the walls."

Jean hates that Marco's right, at least partially. Hates the fact he's always so clever. But the others wouldn't approve of him telling anything, even if it was just his personal story. Especially when there were risks it would just work against all of them and not convince Marco about anything.

"I doubt anything I say would make you choose me. You're not the kind of person who would turn your back on everyone. Which is why this whole situation is as desperate as it is."

Jean makes sure to have an eye contact with Marco, next. "Choosing me would be abandoning your family and friends."

Marco wiggles a little bit in his bindings as Jean speaks, but when Jean moves to catch his gaze, he looks up at him. Jean is right, cooperating with him would be abandoning everyone he knows. He probably wouldn't see his mother again, if what Jean says is correct and there's some way they can get outside the walls.

... But Marco is not going to die to keep someone's secret safe. If that means he lives as an accomplice, then there's a chance he might see everyone again.

So he holds Jean's gaze and lets his face twist into a frown.

"You're right. But I'd rather abandon them and be alive, than be dead."

There's a relatively long silence of Jean just staring at Marco, trying to measure how serious he is about the statement. After observing long enough, he sighs, looking back at the barn doors as if to make sure none of the others made an appearance.

"Apart from the woman who adopted me when I came here and you, no one really been genuinely kind to me. My parents only care about what I bring for the family. And for the military... I'm just a spare they sent along their true warriors. I'm just waiting for the moment I'm needed as a scapegoat or as a vessel for a titan to take home."

If things went that way, he'd end up eating the founding titan, and then he'd return home just to be controlled and kept in a basement for until they figure who the right holder of the coordinate is. That's what the higher ups had said his role would ultimately be. That's why the shot reserved for him specifically was made from Zeke's spinal fluid.

"You actually made me feel like a human, to be honest."

Marco holds Jean's gaze, expression determined even despite his frown. He only lets himself sag a little bit when Jean looks away to the doors.

As Jean speaks, his brain is working through information Jean gives him. He's already a part of the military outside the walls - which means they had to have been a part of the military when they joined. No wonder they were exceptional students right at the start, but... Jean was twelve; Reiner and Berthold were thirteen. If they were responsible for the wall falling, that made them a part of the military at an even younger age.

How young?

Jean calls himself a scapegoat, or a vessel. He knows Titans eat people - is that how they pass on this ability, too? He has so many questions he knows better than to ask, swallowing them back as he looks at Jean.

"Do they... not treat you like a human outside the walls?" He ventures gently. Jean was clear whatever family he had out there didn't value him, but what about friends, or people within the military?

Jean's refused to talk about the situation with Reiner and the others, including the other warrior candidates. Largely because he felt afraid they'd tell him the same everyone else in the military would. So he isn't sure how they feel, but he can talk about everyone else.

"Ever since I was chosen to come here, I haven't really been talked to like a human by the higher ups. Even if I approached mom and dad, all happy I made it and hoping I made them proud, they just told me I should leave out all unnecessary feelings now that I'm a tool."

He doesn't sound too sad about it. In fact, he's pretty indifferent about what his parents think, these days.

"Well, I fucked that up. I'm feeling. Which is why I'm in this mess. So I guess they were right after all."

"That's fucked up," Marco says sadly, plain and simple. He doesn't try to turn it into so you should free me or a pitch to side with them instead. He just empathizes, his heart aching a little for Jean.

Was that why he'd noticed Jean, early on? Loud, brash and confident, but it all seemed like it was hiding a desperation behind his eyes. He didn't know the scope of it until just now.

"I know", Jean says. "But those the cards I've been dealt with. And you'd also be right about me not having a reason to be loyal to them, but I still prefer it to siding with the devils of Paradis."

Just like all the other warriors, the brainwashing that Paradis is evil is deeply rooted in his mind. That he was, in fact, a good Eldian, despite being just a tool. A good Eldian who would be able to live a normal, luxurious life if they won the war and maybe find people who actually love him.

"Between a rock and a hard place, then," Marco says carefully. Obviously, he doesn't consider the people of his home devils of any kind. He wants to ask if Jean so earnestly believes that, why he bothered sparing Marco to begin with this long... but he doesn't want to cut his survival rate this early.

Jean has mentioned "Paradiss" a few times, and he speaks up again. "Is that what they call this place, outside the walls? Paradis."

Jean would simply claim that Marco wasn't a devil. There were always some good people among the devils, just like there were devils among the good Eldians.

"Yeah. The whole island is called that." Surprise, it's an island. All of this was the kind of information that didn't really matter if Marco knew. "Where I come from is called Marley. But these two aren't the only places in existence."

The world is a lot bigger than Marco would have ever thought.

Marco only understands the concept of an island thanks to Armin. Land completely surrounded by water that was big enough to live on? It sounded fake. Now he knows it's very real - they literally live on one.

Marco's eyes widen a little bit, and he looks away. Paradis, and Marley - and other places too. Whole other cultures he'd never heard of.

"And... they all hate us?" Surely that can't be be possible...

"Not just you", Jean says. He's talked this much, he might as well just say the next part, too. "All of us Eldians, who can turn into titans. Those us who live in Marley are just considered good ones for trying to repent for our sins."

Though that's enough of information, for now.

"One of them should come here soon, to discuss what to do now. If you want to live, you probably need to plead your case to them, too."

For now, he offers the water, again, silently. He won't force Marco to drink, but the offer is there.

Marco winces, to hear Jean put it like that. Repent for our sins sounds like something he'd hear from the cult of the Walls; that the walls were there to protect them from their punishment. Actually, maybe they knew more than they were letting on with that.

Jean doesn't give him a chance to ask another question. He sighs softly, and finally does take the drink of water that Jean asks. He does have one more question once he's done.

"So being friends with me... was that real?"

Jean pauses at the question, hand remaining in the air between them as he's putting the water away for now. After a moment he finally gets a grip, finishing the movement and then looking back at Marco.

"It was. Still is. We would have gone to the Military Police as friends, and you probably wouldn't have found out about all this under later."

Warrior AU PSL with kas & tai

Story OOC commentary

Pre-canon -> Training Years: Jean

Secret Meetings

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Trost with Marco - aka the panic kidnappening

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